


Call In to Chat!

by xxELF21xx



Series: Incoming Call [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Radio, Based on a Tumblr Post, Edited so we do not die like men, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Ryan is a radio show host, Shane's an angry listener, radio!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 10:58:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13339830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxELF21xx/pseuds/xxELF21xx
Summary: Ryan runs a little radio show





	Call In to Chat!

**Author's Note:**

> Based of off [pichiba's](http://pichiba.tumblr.com/) Radio!AU and wrote a fic right off the bat. Take note that none of the dialogue is taken from Unsolved, because I was too lazy to search up what they actually said.

Ryan's new in the radio industry. Fresh out of college, waiting for replies from the various companies he's applied to and having an okay-ish bank account (thank you, high-paying, sort of shady, part-time job!) has Ryan feeling bored and  _itching_  for something to do. Most people would take the free time to relax, go on little holiday trips!

But  _Ryan?_  Ryan falls headfirst into helping a friend run a radio show.

'It's just an hour!  _Please!'_  Steven begs, hands clinging onto the ends of Ryan's jacket. 'They'll provide full training and pay  _handsomely!'_

'You run a  _food_  show, Steven!' He won't mind if it were a backstage thing, but  _hosting_  a radio show? No.

'Listen! The producer's open to any kind of show during that hour! It doesn't _have_ to be about food.' Steve whirls around and grabs Ryan by the shoulders, 'please, Ryan. Just for two months. I need to go back  _home,_ man. I haven't seen my family, nor my girlfriend, in  _years.'_  Ryan shuts his eyes, he  _knows_  the other boy is guilting him, but  _damn him_  if he doesn't help a friend in need.

'Fine,' he relents. Steven whoops loudly, crushing him into a bear hug and shouting out his thanks. 'You won't regret it!' The taller man promises.

 

Ryan regrets.

It started out okay. He decides to do a conspiracy show, talking about unsolved mysteries. There aren't many listeners in his slot, the show runs at around 3 in the morning daily, and the staff members are very willing to help him out. His "pilot run" was pretty fantastic, if anyone was asking, since he didn't expect a single person to call in and discuss about the subject matter as seriously as "Brent" had. In the following shows, "Brent" became a sort-of regular, calling in about thrice per week. Ryan had enjoyed his company, even though "Brent" was a sort-of skeptic.

However, when the show was picking up in popularity (with over fifty thousand listeners! Holy cow!), "Brent" had  _disappeared._  Many listeners speculated that "Brent" was probably a ghost and had had enough fun with playing around, others simply suggested that the guy was too busy.

'It sure is quiet without our pal Brent,' Ryan sighs into the mic. Somebody snorts from behind the glass window, earning a glare from him. A few tweets appear on the screen.

'@ghostwheeze says that  _"has anyone noticed how Brent used to call only on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays? I bet something's going on here"._  I. . . never actually noticed that? Does anyone else have anything to say about this?' Ryan laughs, flipping through his notes for today's topic. Several more tweets pop up that exclaim things along the line of  _"omg what the heck???"_  and  _"guys leave Brent alone",_  spurring Ryan to talk about other things.

'Anyways, on to the next topic: we're gonna be talking about the Illuminati today.' He gives the producer, Adam, a wicked grin. From behind the window, Adam groans. 'That's right, my friends, the current  _number one_  topic is being talked about! What is,  _exactly,_  the Illuminati? It isn't just a meme, it's something deeper — something  _darker.'_  He allows himself to talk in his "theory voice", and continues talking for a good five minutes before a call comes in.

'Hey! First call of the day!' He cheers, picking up the phone. Before he could even greet the caller, a loud  _"are you serious?! The Illuminati?"_  is blasted into his face. Startled, Ryan stares at the phone for a moment. 'Yes. The Illuminati.' He dumbly answers. The caller sighs, 'okay. So we're talking about the Illuminati. They're  _lizard people?_  I don't think I've ever heard of anything more  _stupid_  than that.'

'Wait, what's stupid? The Illuminati, or my theories?'

'How about  _both?'_

Slightly insulted, Ryan wheezes. 'Okay, yeah. That's — that's just mean, dude.' The caller snorts, 'maybe if your radio show wasn't talking about stupid stuff like this, I would be less mean.' Instantly, a flurry of tweets call him out angrily. 'Hey, you people on twitter! Calm down! I always take in constructive criticism!'

'That was nowhere  _near_  constructive.'

'I'm always happy to talk?'

'Unbelievable.'

The banter continues for a while, with the caller giving him enough time to continue theorizing before adding their comment. 'Slap me if I'm  _wrong,'_  the amused voice taunts, 'but don't most people stare off into space and kinda "shut down" for a while sometimes? So,  _if_  we apply that to your theory, doesn't that mean that  _most_  people are part of the Illuminati?'

Oh boy, was this person coming on strong to defeat Ryan.

'I mean, uh,' he scrambles for an answer, 'I guess that kinda debunks it, huh?' The studio's staff giggle at Ryan's surrender. 'You've bested me, unknown person.'

'Finally!' They cheer. 'By the way, it's Shane.' And with that, "Shane" hangs up; leaving Ryan speechless. 'Was, was this guy serious?' He looks around the room, bewildered and in awe. 'Was his  _only_  purpose to refute me? Oh my God. I've played myself, haven't I?' He groans, dropping his head onto the control panels.

This was just the beginning of Ryan's torture. 

**Author's Note:**

> Drop by my [tumblr](http://hunkjasontodd.tumblr.com/) for a quick chat, if you will! Or leave a comment! I'm quite lonely:(


End file.
